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November 25, 2016 at 7:42 pm #901
I started to work at cityA in a permanent position in Govt. sector for last 7 months. My wife works at permanent position in Govt. sector as well but in cityB (apprx. 1800 km from cityA) and she works there from 2008. Our marriage took place in 2011 and our 1st child was born in May,2015. Before getting this job, I was a research-scholar and getting paid from scholarship (from 2005 to 2011 Feb. in India and 2011 March to 2016 April in Germany). Both of our current posts are non-transferable. We both born and brought-up in cityB and we loved each-other even before marriage (roughly from 2007 onwards).
Now I stay in cityA alone (in Germany also I stayed almost alone. My wife went there for few months once among five years) and my wife stay in cityB with her mother. She never stayed with my parents (both are above 70 yrs old). For no reason, she does not like them and she said that she will never stay with them (looking after them from her side is a far-fetched expectation! me and my parents too, do not expect that from her.). My parents wanted to visit me in Germany but my wife ensured that not to happen (some times by putting pressure on me .. some time telling false issues to me against my parents. Those issues were false that I came to know after coming back here from Germany. My parents never told me anything against her in the fear that our relation may go down.) Now also my wife does not want me to keep good relationship with my parents. My parents are so unfortunate that they could not even cuddle my only child. (She also does not want to stay with me taking new job in cityA. I also do not want to compel her regarding this because in that case she might not get as good job as she has now.)
But I would try to maintain the relation with my wife, particularly thinking of my child. But after coming back to India I noticed two things:
1. While residing in Germany, I deposited most of my earned money (of the order of 50 Lakh) in the name of my wife in Indian banks in the belief that she will deposit that money in my name or at least under our joint names after I go back to India. But she is not willing to do that. Her claim is that the money I have sent is for family expenditure and therefore it belongs to herself and her own salary also belongs to her. So if she ditch me now, I will be in a very bad shape as far as the economic condition concerned. More over if I want to invest the money now in cityA (say, by buying a flat), I cannot do that. More importantly, she is willing to buy a flat close to her mother’s home and trying to compel me to look after her mother.
2. Second thing is, they both (my wife and mother-in-law) want me to be back at cityB and serve for them. For that, even if I have to take bad job, forgetting my carrier (BTW, this can be mentioned here that I was good student all along my life and still focused on academic carrier. But after marriage it becomes increasingly difficult to keep my focus steady due to all these issues.), it does not matter to them.
Due to all these issues our relation together with my mental peace, all are in deep trouble. My work is hampered also. If I try to talk with her regarding this, our discussion becomes more vigorous and then she even stop taking my phone and Skype (a software for video chat) calls so that I cannot hear or see my daughter. This pressurizes me a lot mentally and making me drowning into a deep despair. I certainly did not expect this situation from our love-marriage. I do not know what to do at this stage. Sometimes, I think not to send any money to my wife for family expenditure anymore, thinking of my previously sent money being lost. Sometime I am also thinking of to be divorced. But I am not sure. Please help me regarding this.
November 30, 2016 at 6:06 pm #909
Dr. Ashok DhamijaAdvocate
What is your question of law? If you need divorce from your wife, you may have to move the appropriate court having jurisdiction. If she is also willing for divorce, both of you can file for mutual consent divorce. As regards the question of money given to her, generally speaking it may be possible for you to file a case for recovering that amount, if you have proof of what you have stated and if she is using that money for some purpose other than for what it was given to her. However, you may please consult some lawyer by showing the relevant papers to him. It is not possible for us to go into your detailed facts / documents on this forum.
Dr. Ashok Dhamija is a New Delhi based Supreme Court Advocate and author of law books. Read more about him by clicking here. List of his Forum Replies. List of his other articles.
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